Below are my questions and comments:
1). I’d like to see more legal substance. What specific laws apply? Are they binding? For example, you mention the Sendai Framework for Disaster Risk Reduction, the International Health Regulations, and various treaties. Which sections of these frameworks and treaties are applicable? How do these international laws interact? Which control? What specific treaties might be relevant? Did international law change between the SARS outbreak and the 2019/2020 COVID-19 outbreak? If there were any changes, how did those impact the response? I notice that your bibliography includes references to lots of research articles (which is great), but if I think few, if any, references to the primary documents. We should see citations to the primary documents themselves.
2) Give the reader a geographical context for your paper. Which countries or regions are you going to talk about? If you are doing a comparison of the SARS outbreak in China and the COVID-19 outbreak in China, is international law relevant? If so, explain why and to whom it’s relevant. Another way to think about this might be to think about the audience for your paper. Who are you trying to help? The leader of China or the international community on the whole, or someone else?
3) Think about the organization of the paper. Right now it feels like your draft jumps around from topic to topic. Here’s a suggested format which you could use: introduction, the facts of the SARS outbreak, the facts of the COVID-19 outbreak, the laws that applied to the SARS outbreak, the laws that applied to COVID-19, a discussion about how the laws have changed, what works and what doesn’t, and your recommendations. You do not need to follow this suggestion, but I would ask you to think about the sequence of the ideas you would like to present. I think as your research and writing progress on this topic, you will have a better idea of how to organize it.